Lux Interior

1946-2009

Just as scary, Vanilla Ice turned 40 today.

Richard Wright

1943-2008

George Carlin

1937-2008

Doctor Albert Hofmann

1906-2008

Last Saturday my Niece and I went to see Sonic Vision at the Chabot Space & Science Center. It was really trippy. It definitely gave me a feeling of motion, flying through space. Very different from laser shows I have seen at planetariums in the past. Wasn’t into all of the music but still really enjoyed it. Recommended. Can’t wait to go again.

Sonic Vision at the Chabot Space & Science Center

Trailer

Review

Trimmed my friends list. First, I cut a lot of people that have not posted in their journals for a considerable amount of time. The second reason is a little more complicated.

A lot has been going on in my life these last few months. A lot of it has to do with my family. I am not very close with anyone right now, and I feel like blogging here again. I need to get some things out.

Problem is there is a leak in my LJ. Last year and the year before things I wrote about here in my LJ came back to me in real life. Making my journal friends only didn't seem to make a difference. There are things in my life I would prefer not be public knowledge.

If cutting anyone offends them I apologize. People I know in real life I will still look forward to seeing you when I go out to clubs or shows. Also, if you have a MySpace please add me, I spend a lot more time there than here.

http://www.myspace.com/bela1313

Music: Everyday - Slade

A few things have come out on CD & DVD this year that have really taken me by surprise.

Kissing The Pink's "Naked" finally came out on CD. The album originally came out in 1983 and was one of my favorites in high school. Very much a New Wave classic. What should I do with my dusty vinyl record?

Alejandro Jodorowsky's "El Topo" & "The Holy Mountain" finally came out on DVD. I had seen "Santa Sangre" when it came out but knew nothing of Jodorowsky's other work. Later I read about his films in a book called "Midnight Movies". One night I was at House of Usher in Berkeley and they showed it on the screen. A few years later I got to see both films on Laserdisc, they were the edited Japanese versions. Now I have the real thing.

Nurse With Wound's "Insect and Individual Silenced" has finally been released on CD. I had read that Stephen Stapleton had felt this recording was a failure. That he went so far as to burn the master tapes so all that existed was the few vinyl copies from the original pressing in 1981.

Haven't taken one of these in a while...

54%

Music: Mirage Man - Rogerson, Diana

Sixteen Cages Crawl In Line...

New Wave City

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

I went to the New Wave Prom last year at Barneveld, the venue is huge. See you there.

The last Dark Sparkle is this Sunday January 28th (but you knew that already right?). Just remember that Margo and Sage aren't going away, just moving nights, location and using a new club name.

It's all a bit bittersweet. We're excited about the new club, but Dark Sparkle has been a big part of our lives for the last 8 years. Within the walls of Dark Sparkle we've made and (unfortunately) lost many friends and loved ones over the years. We've shared a lot of fond memories and it's a little hard to let go. The most important thing we want to thank you all for coming out and supporting us all of these years. We really hope to see you out this Sunday for the LAST Dark Sparkle. Remember we'll be opening early (9PM), so we'll have even more time to hang out and end this thing with a bang!

We hope to continue seeing you for many years to come...starting with After Dark!

Don't forget that the first After Dark is next month on Saturday February 17th.

The LAST Dark Sparkle:
Sunday, January 28th, 2007

Dark Sparkle
Let All The Children Boogie
DARK SPARKLE'S CLOSING NIGHT
DJ's: Miz Margo & Sage
Host: Michael Sparkle
9:00PM - 2:00AM
$5.00 Before 11pm, $7 After
21+ with ID
Cafe Du Nord: 2170 Market Street @ Sanchez
San Francisco, CA / 415-861-5016
www.darksparkle.com
www.live365.com/stations/darksparkle
www.cafedunord.com

See you there

So strange living in the day time world. Working graveyard I used to exercise when I woke up. Now I exercise in the evening on nights I don't go out. I used to read before I went to sleep, now I just pass out.

"Virgin Mary was tired, so tired..."

I have been having a great time at Death Guild recently. This past monday was kinda slow. I had hoped it would be, had lots of room to dance for a change. Don't know how I am going to manage going to clubs during the work week when I have to start waking up at 6:00am to be at work at 8:00am.

Went to BAGG again. Went to Brian's club Apocalypse. He had a decent size crowd show up.

Gossip was a lot of fun as usual. Got to finally meet bluecheer.

"Are you the clown?"
"No, I'm Mary fuckin' Poppins."

Finally saw Female Trouble. Not sure why it took so long. I guess it never played at the UC when I worked there. Laughed until I hurt. Polyester is still my favorite John Waters film though.

"And remember my offer still stands. If you get tired of being a Hare Krishna, you come live with me and be a lesbian!"

Music: Living On Video - Trans X

So, what happened to that sweltering heat wave? These last few days I have been freezing. My bed is very cold.

Saw Gary Numan at the Fillmore last night. Seen him twice before and this was in my opinion his best performance. He played the old songs I wanted to hear: Metal, Films, Down In The Park and a soft/loud version of Are Friends Electric. Liked the newer material as well. I lagged a bit getting ready but got there about a minute before the show started.

Club hopped form Spin This to Death Meat/Meat Guild. Ended up staying at Meat Guild a lot longer than I had planned. Had to work this morning at 10:00am and only got about 3 or 4 hours of sleep.

I was having a crazy dream when my alarm went off. I just realized that in dreams and nightmares I allow myself to live in the moment.

Going to exercise and turn in early tonight. I really want to be rested enough go to Death Guild tomorrow night.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ladies at the clubs, if you are not my girlfriend or do not intend to be my girlfriend please do not rub your boobies against me while we are talking. Thanks.

Music: The Sun And The Rainfall - Depeche Mode

Was on the fence about going to the absinthe party on Friday. Glad I decided to go, it was great. The Dark Sparkle DJs played lots I wanted to hear and dance to. Highlights were "AEIOU Sometimes Y" & "We Share Our Mothers´ Health". "AEIOU Sometimes Y" was the first 12" single I bought back when I was a teenager. "We Share Our Mothers´ Health" I have been waiting to hear at a club for the last few months, though I think I have danced around my room to it more than a few times. I didn't get up the nerve to drink any absinthe. I had tried some "homemade" a few years ago and didn't care for it. Gave me an awful headache and I couldn't see straight. I remember having to go out and walk around the block a few times trying to shake off the nasty feeling. Anyway, people were very friendly and the Climate Theater is kinda crazy.

Saturday was Siouxsie night at New Wave City. Had some trouble settling in, which I experience sometimes in really crowded places. Had trouble with stairs before I even had a drink. Eventually adjusted and had a good time. It was nice to see so many people I know there. Everyone was a lot of fun.

Sunday was felt strange since I didn't work. So this is what it's like to go out on Saturday night and waste all of Sunday.

Worked my first day shift Monday on four hours sleep. I like not being a shift lead anymore, it is so less stressful. I still have to function as one when the day shift lead leaves at 3:30pm but its only for a few hours. My boss let me cut out early. Did I go home and go to sleep? Of course not.

Went to Death Guild last night. I had hoped it would be a slow night. I guess that club never has one. I felt a strange tension with a few people I talked to. I can't really figure it out. Despite that I danced a bit and had a good time. I like the fact that very soon I will be free to go to DG as often as I want. I wore an old outfit from my Twilight Zone days and that made me happy.

Music: The Angel Trail - Legendary Pink Dots, The

Upcoming Shows:

• Gary Numan at the Fillmore - Saturday, August 19th

• Fischerspooner at the Mezzanine - Friday, August 25th

• Nitzer Ebb at Slim's - Thursday, September 14th

• Scissor Sisters at the Warfield - Friday, September 29th

• Adult. at the Mezzanine - Thursday, October 5th

• Ladytron at the Fillmore - Monday, October 16th

• Diamanda Galás at the Yerba Buena Centre - Thursday, October 19th

• Diamanda Galás at the Yerba Buena Centre - Saturday, October 21st

• KMFDM/Combichrist at the Mezzanine - Saturday, October 28th

• The Knife at the Mezzanine - Friday, November 3rd

• The Slits at the Mezzanine - Saturday, November 18th

If you are interested in going to any of these shows with me let me know.

Music: Conquest - Chris & Cosey

Thank you to everyone that responded to my last journal entry. It makes me feel a lot less alone.

My work schedule for next week changed again. They gave me Sunday off, I am working Monday through Thursday 10:00am to 8:30pm. I would prefer to work 8 hour shifts again so I can get out of there earlier. Eventually I will be on a 5 day schedule.

After I got home from work last night I exercised as I usually do. Then I binged on beer and tortilla chips. This is not normal behavior for me. I woke up this morning and I was really angry with myself. I think it was just caused by stress.

Got my carpet remnant bound this week. Having mismatched rugs in the cave was really getting to me. I can only tolerate things like that in my living space so long before it starts to freak me out. Disorder distresses me as well. Looks really nice now. Yeah, I know, a straight man should not worry about things like this.

Music: 25 O'Clock - Dukes Of Stratosphear, The

I don't have to wait until the end of the month. I move to day shift this Sunday. This is all happening so fast. I patiently waited so long for this, hard to believe it's real.

I have a hard time believing anything positive can happen in my life. It's like I exceeded my quota such a long time ago.

I miss a certain friend. Does anyone want to see Strangers With Candy with me at the Parkway this Thursday?

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

This isn't a rant, these are just my observations. Not intended to offend anyone.

I went to clubs for years when I was younger but then stopped for a while. I was with Kristine for seven years and during that time we very rarely went to clubs. It has been just over a year since I started going again. The scene is very different than the way I remember it.

It seems that in the scene polyamory is the default. I had never heard of polyamory until after Kristine and I got together. It struck me as odd that people found identity in it.

There was a short period in my own life where I was seeing a few different girls but wasn't really interested in being in an exclusive relationship. Then I quit using speed and I went back to being in a relationship with one person.

I am actually ok with seeing someone who sees other people. I just need to know this going into it. What I don't like is having it dropped on me after I have been seeing someone for a few months. I need to know from day one. It needs to be my choice. I don't like being tricked or lied to.

I also don't think I could stay in a "seeing other people" situation very long, I think I would lose interest very quickly. It's just not my preference.

I only have one experience seeing someone who was already involved with someone else. I met her at Roderick's Chamber and we started seeing each other. I had been staying over at her place and she had been staying over at mine for about a month when she told me she had a boyfriend. She said she wasn't going to tell him about us. I wasn't very comfortable with this. I wasn't being dishonest to anyone in my life but she was. I felt like I was being a party to her dishonesty. A few weeks later she told me that she told her boyfriend that she was seeing other people. This made me feel a little better, that I wasn't doing anything wrong. A few weeks after that she told me she was considering ending things with her boyfriend but wanted to know if she did if I would see her exclusively. I told her not to break up with her boyfriend. I had enough and stopped hanging out with her altogether.

I'm having a difficult time understanding the relationships of other people. For example on MySpace I see profiles of people who I know are in a relationship that list their status as single. Or they list that they are in a relationship but they are "here for" dating and/or serious relationships. Does that mean they are attached and looking for something better or just looking for something on the side? I am really confused.

I feel like an alien that just stepped out of a spaceship.

I have met a lot of people in the last year, more than I thought I would. I am a painfully shy person and I have never been able to really overcome it. I really like every person I have met but I just don't feel like I have much of a connection with anyone. I have met people that I share some interest in music with, but that is about it.

Some people really seem to thrive in the scene. Some even experience a feeling of family. I have never had that. I feel like a shadow most of the time. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm just trying to accept things as they are.

Had a lot more to say, but I'm feeling sleepy. Goodnight.

Music: China My China - Eno, Brian

After an emotional weekend I had a few things I wanted to rant about. The club scene and another subject. I just worked 12 hours and I am beat so I am going put the ranting on hold. Well, maybe a work rant.

Work is killing me. We are supposed to be slow this time of year. Last year during July and August I was barely working. Here it is August and we are still slammed. On top of that two people from my department are being sent to work in another regional office for a month. The new bankers start in September. I have no idea how we are going to be able to keep up.

On the bright side, it is official, I will be moving to day shift and taking over the training responsibilities. I will no longer be a shift lead and I am very happy about that. It was the original plan last fall for this to happen. I just stepped up to being shift lead for the evening shift because I had to (and it was a chance to get off graveyard). Honestly, I have been having a difficult time with it. My management responsibilities as graveyard shift lead were more than enough. I promised myself I would never let my job become primarily management. I can do it, I just hate it. Keep your money and I will keep my sanity and my soul.

Club Gossip was fun but hot as hell. I ran into and old friend and got to hang out with him a bit. We reminisced about dollar shots and dollar drafts at House of Usher back at Thunder Bay. I still hate Miller beer. Didn't get to dance to anything shameful. Maybe next time

I love sweet potatos, I could eat them every day. (Moved to Dead Journal)

Music: Space Age Love Song - Flock of Seagulls, A

( Club Gossip Tonight )

Music: Wrap It Up - Eurythmics

Been kinda busy lately.

Went to Brian's birthday Apocalypse. Happy birthday Brian, I owe you a drink.

Went to Club Gossip vs. 1984. Danced a lot.

Went to Dark Sparkle. Got to hang out with Jason Jordan and Thom again. Club hopped, went to BAGG. Had not been there since last December I think. Liked the music a lot more this time.

Went to Strangelove for the first time. What a cool little club.

Went to Compulsion. Met a few people, which is always nice.

Watched Sick Girl over the weekend. Same Director and Actress from May, which I really liked. In the commentary someone said the part when Misty freaked out on Ida that it was the scariest part of the film. I was surprised by this. I didn't think it was that bad, it wouldn't have even upset me. I guess I am just used to it.

Best line of dialogue from Sick Girl: "Babes or bugs, you can't have both."

Work is still a bit draining. I might be moving from swing to day shift the end of this month. I'm a bit surprised about this. I wouldn't mind taking on the training responsibilities, which was the original plan from last fall.

(Moved to Dead Journal)

Music: Get It On - T.Rex

Happy Birthday to my Gemini friends: leather_nun, otterley, goldmoon & ubermensch

Happy Birthday to my Cancer friends: fxl, charack & umbria

Happy Birthday to my Leo friend: cyclotron

( No one should read this )

Went to Meat. Not many people there. Was there a Meat boycott? Is too much Meat in one month bad for you? Anyway had a good time. Danced a lot. I think I danced to "Poison" by Bell Biv Devoe.

I like Meat because they are not afraid of bass. I like feeling my insides rattle around.

Got to hang out with Jason Jodan and Thom. Always nice to spend time with old friends. We went to Grubstake after the club and I ate bad food.

(Moved to Dead Journal)

Saw A Scanner Darkly today. Read the book last year. Usually this sets me up for disappointment when I see a film adapted from a book I have read. Not this time. Amazing. Go see it.

"What does a scanner see? Into the head? Into the heart? Does it see into me? Clearly? Or darkly?"

Tonight is Brian's (DJ Vandal) club Apocalypse. If you know him stop by and wish him a happy birthday.

Though I have been enjoying my new schedule I haven't been getting much done. My world feels a little to chaotic. I feel guilty when I am being lazy and not getting things done. Unless, of course, I am being lazy with someone else. Life is short and these moments are precious. If you are fortunate enough to be lazy with that special someone. Maybe someday.

Music: Red Over White - Siouxsie & The Banshees

Thursday night went to the Parkway with Cassaudra & Joel. Fell asleep during "The Incredible Two Headed Transplant". There wasn't even a cat sitting on me this time. Since Cassaundra will eventually read this I can't comment on her public drunkenness.

Friday did not go out.

Saturday went to Retro Active. Drank hard alcohol, which I almost never do, but was not hung over at all the next day.

Did not cross the bridge once this weekend. It's nice to stay in the East Bay now and then.

Other than the nap I took at the Parkway my sleep schedule has improved drastically. Been only sleeping once a day. Also I have sleeping a lot more than the 4 to 5 hours I am used to.

Liking the new schedule. Like the 4 day work-week. Every day I have off feels like vacation. I am very good at wasting an afternoon.

Must exercise every day this week because I feel bloated.

(Moved to Dead Journal)

So sleepy. Goodnight.

Music: Last October - Hungry Lucy

Had a good time at the show on Saturday. I think this was the sixth time I have seen NIN. Bauhaus was amazing. A short set but no complaints.

I don't mind Shoreline that much anymore. Did the premier parking thing which made the trip down and back less stressful. My friends are car monkeys.

Got unwanted attention at the show from a lot of strangers. Being as dressed down as I was I couldn't figure ouy why.

I think I am either hearing impaired or I don't understand the English language. I can't hear anything anyone says to me at a club but I always thought that was normal. Now I am finding, even when I am not in a loud environment, that sometimes I can't understand what anyone is saying to me. If it is a person I have known for while I have an easier time but if it is a stranger I don't understand a damn thing.

So yeah, the new shift at work has been challenging. My boss told me to work less and delegate more. It has been so hard to leave on time and not work overtime every single night.

Would anyone like to see The Incredible Two Headed Transplant with me at the Parkway tomorrow (Thursday) night? I need some East Bay friends.

Not sure what is up this weekend. I think I will be going to Retro Active on Saturday in Oakland.

Music: Jóga - Björk